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How To Let Go Of Grudges And Be A More Mature Person

“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.”― Criss Jami, Salom√©: In Every Inch In Every Mile

We have all been hurt by someone we used to love, or perhaps still do. Maybe a friend said something that affected us deeply, or a parent failed to recognize our efforts. Grudges are quick to seep into our bodies and take root. With time, their firm hold on us becomes so intense that living with them seems easier than getting rid of them. However, would you ever nourish the weeds that harm the plants? I think not! Then why do you want to let the detrimental grudges grow when they only cage you in the long run? Sometimes, forgiving a person may seem impossible, especially when the hurt they have inflicted is beyond measure. It may have been a day or a decade since the incident took place. However, what if I tell you that it’s never too late to let go?

How To Let Go Of Grudges

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Letting go of grudges gives you peace. It helps you breathe easier. It makes you a more mature person. But, wouldn’t it be simpler to keep resenting the person who didn’t think twice before hurting you? It will, perhaps. However, is the more convenient path the right one? Why should you suffer for something someone else did? Holding a grudge to make the other person feel bad is like injuring yourself and expecting them to bleed. So, what can you do to let the grudges go and live a healthier life? It won’t happen overnight, but these practices might give you a headstart.

1. Identify The Feeling

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The first step of letting go is to identify the source of the pain. What is causing you to hold on to that grudge? Talk about it with someone you trust, or pen it down in your journal. Revisiting the incident can bring up negative emotions. Tears are our body’s way of letting go of stress, so do not hesitate to shed them. At the end of the process, you shall feel liberated, and that’s what matters the most.

2. Break Up With The Grudge

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Whether it was an ex-friend, an ex-partner, or a toxic person, you must have distanced yourself from them after they hurt you. So why not let go of the lingering pain? Creating as much distance as possible between you and the other person is necessary. In addition, you must get rid of anything associated with them. Give away any present that they gave you, donate the clothes you wore when the incident happened. Get rid of everything that brings back those memories.

3. Change Your Perspective

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When we are hurting, it is easy to think that they are the ones at fault. But putting yourself in their shoes will help you understand why they did what they did. Was it your performance that led them to hurt you, or was it their own unresolved trauma? It may seem cliched, but things make a lot more sense if you look at them from a different perspective. It helps you distance yourself from your emotions and relive the incident from a logical point of view. It makes it easier for you to forgive them.

4. Don’t Dwell On It

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Instead of letting the incident take over your thoughts, accept what happened and move on. If you keep thinking about it, it will engulf you with its clutches, and the feelings of resentment will keep growing. In case the topic comes up in any discussion, let them know you are uncomfortable and change the subject. It may seem like a lot of effort when you try to work on it consciously. In such cases, do not hesitate to seek help from a mental health practitioner.

5. Stop With The Slander

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We understand how hurt and upset you must be and that you would rather keep complaining about what happened instead of bottling it up inside. However, if you keep saying negative things about your source of resentment, it will only grow. You need not stop talking about the person altogether and refrain from retelling the painful incident. You don’t need to praise them, but avoiding negative language will help you open the door to forgiveness.

6. Choose To Forgive

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Sounds crazy, right? How can we ever forgive someone who didn’t even apologize? But choosing to forgive them will set you free. By feeding the grudge, you are surrounding yourself with negativity. If not forgiving them does not affect them in any way, then what good is it doing? In the end, it will only bring you more pain by taking you back to the incident. Forgive, and feel the load lift off your chest. Always remember that forgiving them brings you peace and helps you move on.

Letting go of grudges won’t happen overnight. Healing takes time, and you need to work on it. However, realizing that you are doing it for your own self makes it easier than it seems. Take all the time you need, shed as many tears as necessary, and once you finally let go of the grudges, you shall be a more mature person.

The post How To Let Go Of Grudges And Be A More Mature Person appeared first on STYLECRAZE.



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